Don’t be a Jerry! It’s time for us to resist the hand-washing edicts of the CDC

In the 1990s Americans were fed a weekly diet of propaganda from Hollywood in the form of a sitcom called Seinfeld. This seemingly innocuous show about nothing was anything but a show about nothing.  The main character, Jerry, is a famous germaphobe who propped up social norms on hygiene such as washing hands after using the bathroom and of course–no double-dipping.

There is so much wrong with the lessons we have been taught by this show but let’s just focus on the practice of washing ones’ hands after using the bathroom. 

Before I go on let me assure you that I am not pro-germ but something is terribly wrong here. For some time I held a middle-ground position typically saying something like “I recommend you wash your hands after using the lavatory, but I also believe in your freedoms,”* as if such an approach could appease both hand washers and non-hand washers.  But I have now come to realize how I was still under the influence of big business, government regulatory overreach via the CDC and the complicit entertainment enterprise.  

The communist socialist Marxist woke culture has long-been insisting that employees wash their hands after using the facilities prior to returning to the workplace. This form of mind-control has resulted in decades of participation in unnecessary and often harmful practices not to mention prideful virtue signaling.  

Let’s look at what real science tells us about the dangers and costs associated with handwashing.

First let’s consider the wasted resources.  Washing wastes precious water something liberal politicians have been telling us is valuable and irreplaceable resource.  If you live in the western US you are well aware of this fact.  It would be unconscionable to wash your hands and deprive western farmers of what is needed to feed us. 

Second, we are told we need to use soap to wash our hands, but soap damages the ecosystem.  Fish, and hundreds of types of microorganisms are harmed by the wastewater we create through handwashing.  

Third, what about the hand-drying process that most employ following hand-washing?  Scientific studies have proven that dryers simply blow germs into the air likely increasing the chances of inhaling what had been left on your hands.  And we haven’t even mentioned cost of making the paper necessary or worse yet the carbon dioxide footprint of those loud air-dryers that require constant maintenance. 

Fourth, we are also washing away good bacteria with the bad!  Harvard and Yale-trained scientist have shown in multiple published clinical studies that antibacterial soaps kill millions of good bacteria and may leave some harmful—though their real harm is debatable—bacteria intact.  We have been lied to and told that we are killing bad bacteria and viruses. The real truth is that we have more good bacteria than harmful ones living on our skin and so we are hurting ourselves by washing our hands (and even bathing but that is another truth for another time).

You put all of this together and how could we not come to the sobering conclusion that washing your hands kills more people than it protects! To support handwashing is to support death and I will have no part of that.

Some will say, ok, but there could be a disease-causing bacteria or virus on my hands and even if it is highly unlikely to be transferred to another person I should still lower that risk by washing my hands.  This protection of others at any cost is just a guilt trip laid upon you. The risk is neither as high as anyone says nor is it worth the cost of your lost freedom.

Consider the case of Jerry Seinfeld in the bathroom with Poppie.  The chance there is any harmful bacteria in that bathroom is very low.  Then consider Pappi is going to get his hands in food that may already contain harmful organisms.  Also, he is going to cook that food killing 99% of anything that was there.  We could go on and on calculating the risks at each step needed to bring you food.  You put each of these low risks together and you will quickly discover that the chances that any rodent or person being sick and transferring diseases to any customer is so infinitesimally small that it is foolish of us to take any of the precautions that governments have imposed on restaurants to keep us “safe.” These laws exist solely to create jobs for inspectors which are usually government jobs (USDA) thus bringing more employees into the fold making them more dependent on government and thus likely to vote a particular way.

Now yes, some people have weak immune systems such as the elderly and those undergoing cancer treatment and might possibly be affected by germ transfer but to date this has yet to be proven definitively.  Even if it were true, we can’t all simply inconvenience ourselves in the miniscule chance that a germ from us gets to them.  These individuals need to guard themselves either through social distancing or wearing gloves and masks in public.  

Consider also that most people can handle a few germs.  Afterall, didn’t God create us with immune systems!? And we have lived with them all our lives. Rather than performing this useless hand-washing activity, people simply need to go to the gym and get an immune system. As one of the more astute congresswomen recently said “I’m meal prepping and working out to protect my health from bad bacteria.”**  That’s exactly right! Eat right and hit the gym and you can save the environment and not live in fear of bacteria and viruses.

I understand that most people in our world today believe they are doing the right thing when they wash their hands.  If you need to wash your hands in front of others as a form of virtue signaling, a way to just get along and fit it, then go ahead but just know that by doing so you are only demonstrating that you are a pawn of the deep state who is using your submission to social norms as a form of control.  

Notice what has happened, it started long ago with the general fear of germs which was never really a problem but that fear allowed other to make rules to keep us in fear and in need of a government protector.  Now we have become accustomed to such rules and along comes COVID-19, a chance for governments to assert its control over us even more.  Now a quick wash isn’t good enough. We are told to wash our hands for 20 seconds!!  We are now killing even more of our good bacteria and having no material effect on bad bacteria. In effect we are making ourselves more vulnerable to disease and thus dependent on a health system that yearns to be under government control but still pass massive profit to big pharma. 

Rather than bow to societal pressures, I say, just zip it up and walk right out of the bathroom with a sense of freedom. A renewed sense of privilege to live your life without being told how to live.  Bask in the knowledge that you know the truth and by not washing you are preaching Truth.

Next time you see one of those signs saying to wash your hands, stand up for your rights.  As another US Senator*** has recently said: It’s time for us to resist. They can’t arrest all of us. No one should follow the CDC.” So reach for that bathroom door handle and shake the hand of the first person you see.  What doesn’t kill them will only make them stronger!

Don’t be a Jerry. Poppie was the real hero of the story not the villain.  

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The above is satire.  I fully support the recommendations of the CDC that we wash our hands in public facilities and that practicing good hygiene is an effective, though certainly not perfect, way of reducing the spread of communicable diseases. After all, they aren’t called communicable for no reason.

*Quote from Trump recently at a rally referencing vaccines except I’ve replaced vaccines with handwashing. 

**Marjorie Taylor Greene “I’m meal prepping and working out to protect my health from bad bacteria”

*** Senator Rand Paul